To build a R.E.A.L. connection with your kids, use these four steps:

1. Realize your children need to have a connection with you. As your kids grow up and become more independent, your relationships with them can sometimes feel disconnected. Your children may not realize it, but that need for a deep connection doesn’t change with age. Find new ways to connect as they get older and enter different phases of life, so your kids continue to feel supported.

2. Examine your own assumptions and prejudices. The distractions, temptations and pressures children are facing today are likely quite different from your experiences as a teenager. Keep that in mind as you work to forge a deeper connection with them, and remember that you need to be prepared to listen to their point of view.

3. Always be aware of the other influences in your kids’ lives. Peers, teachers, the media – many influences impact the choices your kids make. As a parent trying to protect your child, it’s natural to fight against other influences. But failure to relate to their world can make your children feel as though you don’t understand. Show you take their concerns seriously, and they’ll be more open to receiving your advice.

4. Listen, because all kids (especially teens) have a deep need to be heard.  Don’t go into every conversation with an agenda; listen to your kids’ points of view and allow them to express their feelings. You’d be surprised at how differently your kids will respond when they feel like they’ve been heard and understood. If they don’t feel heard, they’re more likely to turn to peers for validation.

For more information on creating and maintaining a R.E.A.L. connection with your children, visit our website.